Coming out to California I thought I had prepared myself well. I had long talks inside my head about if I was going to be able to handle this vacation and the reason we were coming out here. I was confident that I was going to be okay surrounded by my family.
Well about two minutes in I started crying and could not stop. My dad being the super human he is knew exactly what was going on. Just a quick glance of let it all out daughter it’s ok no one is looking.
I was in a beautiful dress and so ready to dance the night away with everyone. However my mind and body had different plans. The thoughts of being in this state and knowing they said vows to one another while I was back in our home trying everything I could to put our family back together. They married each other without the thought of the three back at home.
As I watched Ashley smile because this was the best day of her life, She is such an amazing human. She is kind, thoughtful, graceful and has the biggest heart. I have looked up to Ashley and Kayla for as long as I can remember. The two sisters that paved the way for their little cousin. Maybe it’s in our blood to be super humans. To take what life throws at us with grace and still be kind in a harsh world.
If you ask anyone the three of us could never hurt another sole. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to understand why or how another woman could do that. She isn’t like us they would say. Not everyone was raised like the Beste’s have been Kelsey. Not everyone has been through the struggles, entitled children that have never done the work we have.
My Aunt Janet lost her husband when I was graduating 8th grade, my Aunt Barb lost hers a few years later, my Grandpa lost his Wife before I was born, my Great Great Aunt list her husband when I was in the 3rd grade. All those family members never remarried, never dated again when asked why they said it’s because we were raised in a time that when you are married-you marry for life.
It breaks my heart that people get married without knowing who they are getting married to. They spent a handful of weekends together and then said vows. Having a house, a home with a woman, a child, two dogs and one on the way and that didn’t mean a damn thing. People use people, throw people away without a explanation, treat people like they are nothing these days because it has become so easy. So easy that a ex can come back into ones life and the questions don’t get asked. Maybe it’s lack of self respect but if you don’t love yourself or respect yourself how can you bring anything to the marriage? You can’t. That marriage will fail before it even gets started.
I made it though the day. I danced, I laughed, I met people from all over the United States. This will not define me. I may have set backs but I will come out better then anyone who hurt me without making it better.
We are off to the beach so I hope everyone has a great day. Enjoy it. Tell the ones you love that you love them. Compliment someone, do something you normally wouldn’t, get outside and take a deep breath. Make each day better then the last.