I woke up at 6am and went for a run. Came home to shower and get back in bed. I checked my emails and wrote back to one that I should have waited to write back to.
It has been a on going thing to pick up money that was sent to me from things that were damaged at the old house. Not nearly close to what I lost but I didn’t want to push that anymore when the person didn’t see the wrong in it. I tired to make it short but he said he was trying to help. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I gave him all the information I was putting down and then came the email that I always seem get bugged by because there always seems to be one. He said I told you to try California. Went back in all my emails even though I knew he never told me that just to ease my mind before stating that. Somehow just reading that state from him annoyed me.
I want to be able to have a conversation without getting annoyed or instantly thinking “homewrecker” in the back of my mind. I haven’t even emailed in awhile because I know I am at a point of not caring anymore because it turns into a fight and just makes me feel worse. I gave up when it became clear he doesn’t want to help. Hence why everything went into the “box”. Sometimes men in general just don’t think and I don’t know if that is what irritates me the most because if they took even a second to think shit wouldn’t be so damn difficult.
I am hoping today that this will be done and I can just get the money and have it over with. While I am not close to a point to stop talking to him or wanting to stop I should say, I have been becoming pretty good at shutting my mouth and doing just that. I no longer talk about him, when people ask what happened I have become a pro at changing the subject quick and just moving on with me day.
I am glad I started this blog because I can get it all out in one sitting and continue on with my day. I need to continue to listen to my instincts and no when to end a conversation because I need to protect myself.
Now it’s time for us to really get out of bed. Go pick up my son from his sleepover and see what fun things are in store for us on this beautiful Sunday!
Hope everyone has a great day!