Forgetting

There’s no doubt it was always you

From that first time I walked you home from school

Until you stole my heart underneath that August moon

It was always you it was always you

Now it hurts to see your pretty smile fade

I’ve got a front row seat to watch you drift away

And I know there’s nothing left for us to say

But it’s okay it’s okay

There’s no getting over you

I tried to sugarcoat the truth

But the missing you is tearing me apart

Every kiss that I let slip away

Every minute every single day

The memories make it easy to break a heart

But forgetting

Forgetting is the hardest part

Sometimes I sit here feeling like a ghost

Its that emptiness I think that hurts the most

But a piece of me still holds a little hope

I should just let go

But I can’t let go

There’s no getting over you

I tried to sugarcoat the truth

But the missing you is tearing me apart

Every kiss that I let slip away

Every minute every single day

The memories make it easy to break a heart

But forgetting

Forgetting is the hardest part

It’s time to pull myself together

And put these pieces back wherever

Maybe one day I’ll find love again

Again

There’s no getting over you

I’ve tried to sugarcoat the truth

A million times but I’m still torn apart

Every kiss that I let slip away

Every minute every single day

The memories make it easy to break a heart

But forgetting

Forgetting is the hardest part

It has been months. So long since I have felt whole. I have tried to forget you but I can’t. No matter what someone says to me I try to think of the good. I try to believe you were a good person. I am tired, my mind, my body it is tired.

Everything happened so fast I never had time to think. I didn’t have time to get myself together. I don’t know why this happened. You loved me and I loved you more then anything. My son loved you, we tried so hard to make you a part of our family. We just wanted it complete and now its like a wound has been reopened and some days I miss you so much. I miss talking and laughing. I miss the way you chew your tongue when you play video games or how you licked my face.

I miss you playing with Ares and coming home to me. I still wake up at random times in the night thinking you are coming home from work. I miss the late night talks and the hand holding in bed. Our bed.

I wish I could understand I really truly do. I wish I could wrap my mind around it all and just be ok. Am I crazy to not be ok yet? Am I so damaged to think that someone like you couldn’t love me enough to stick by us? Am I just to hopeful in life to think it really would have worked out for us? Is there something wrong with me that I can’t understand how this all happened? Do you think about me like I think about you?

I am sorry I am this way. I am sorry that I still want to talk and you want nothing to do with us. I am sorry I said some of the things I did. I just want the pain to go away. I want to hear your voice or read a letter or anything from you. I want to know I didn’t completely waste over a year. I want to know I didn’t completely hurt my son by my actions.

Will I be ok?

Why did you do this?

I am sorry I loved you.

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