Party

I knew coming into this party there was going to be a lot of questions about Arizona. I stayed quiet while I was there and didn’t really speak much of what was going on.

There was a part of me that just wanted to lie. Didn’t want to get into anything but then I realized I didn’t want to lie to the ones I care about.

While I can sit here and make jokes about everything that happened, on the inside the pain is real. The looks on people’s faces when I tell them all that happened is heartbreaking because I can see them hurting for me.

They tell me how strong I am and they would have never known because I have been carrying myself so well. They would say how the last time they saw me I was so happy and couldn’t stop talking about my amazing life. They tell me I look great and glad to hear I am doing well.

Yes on the outside I am doing great but on the inside of people could see that they wouldn’t know what to say.

They ask the normal questions- How could someone do that, how could she do that to a child, how did that happen… I just sit there and I can only say I don’t know and hope the conversation moves on.

I’m hoping once more people know the less I will have to talk at least for now because the pain is still very real.

Happy Friday everyone! Hope you all had a great week ❤️

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