An open letter to my ex.

Hey we both know this was a long time coming right?

I have tried to ignore this thought in my head to write this and have tried to put it aside but it seems to be eating away at me.

You destroyed me. You played me. You hurt me. You broke my heart.

You were my everything from the start, You were everything I have ever dreamed of having in a best friend, boyfriend, husband and father. You listened, you cared, you loved and you held me when I needed you. You protected me and our family. You came home after working hard days and kissed me like I was the best person in your life. You did homework with Jaydee and built race tracks. You listened to him when he needed someone of the male gender. You let him come home from school and give you papers intended for his parents. You let him call you step-dad even though he was ready to call you dad but was to scared. You went in his room and said goodnight almost every night you were home. We got a puppy and a very expensive truck together. We laughed, joked, made our own fun and tried new things together. We had a home and a future

We were creating a life, a life I needed.

Then you killed it. You ripped open my body and took my heart just to stomp on it. You didn’t stop there. You lied about where you were that weekend just to come home, TO OUR HOME and have sex with me. We then were creating life. You didn’t stop there either. The day my heart stopped and I went to the hospital to find out I was having the first miscarriage you went home to call your GIRLFRIEND and lie about that too. I was losing a baby and all you cared about was not losing your new found love for your ex. It didn’t stop there either. You went back home for new years and continued the lies. “I am with family can’t talk” no you were with HER! I wish I could say this is where it ended. NOPE! You put out a bullshit protection order and kicked me and the boy who called you dad out of our home for a week! I had to sit in a court room and prove I was a good person! How does that make you feel? I know I am crying writing this bullshit letter that I never thought I would have to.

After all that I found out you married her. What a slap in the face that was. You married your ex while living in a home with me and my son! You said vows to someone while we still shared a home! Then continued to live with me and torture me with your back and forth. You took off that ring so easy multiple times. I don’t feel bad about it or her. She ruined the life I was living along with your help. While I call her the homewrecking whore, you are just as guilty by opening that door for her. Did you get reconnected when you had tinder again? You know with the picture in OUR BED? You didn’t know what you wanted and maybe you got married out of spite or maybe it was a ultimatum for her. Maybe you just felt so damn good that two woman wanted you that you didn’t give a shit who was hurting.

The day you saw me in that wedding dress is a day I will never forget. The look on your face was breath taking. You made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Did that hurt? Did it hurt seeing the person you love in a dress looking more beautiful then the one you just married?

I don’t hate you I hate the person you said you never were. I hate your father because you said you would never be him. You turned out to be everything you swore you weren’t. I guess that is what love bombers do right? They are picture perfect in the start, everything someone has always wanted until their true colors come out.

I will always wish you the best in this life. I hope that one day you become the man you pretended to be for me. I hope you grow up and realize what you did was horrible.

Thank you.

Thank you for freeing me from the situation. Thank you for hurting me so bad that I finally see why I am on this earth. Thank you for making me a better person and learning how to treat people. Thank you for showing me who you really are because all I ever got was who you pretended to be.

I hope this marriage works out for you because even though you guys failed already at the relationship multiple times you two deserve each other.

I am ready to start my life without you in it. I don’t regret you because everyone comes into someones life for a reason. You came into mine to show me that I have a pattern in men. I came into your life to show you how to be a man. I taught you how to treat someone the worst part is you took that and did right for someone else. Ill never forgot our past and I am sure I will still hurt for years to come but ill always know I am STRONGER BECAUSE OF YOU!

I’m glad you finally told me you wanted to move on in life after telling me you would always want to be friends. I can now see the real shitty things you did and I don’t have to learn to forgive you and be a friend. I don’t have to worry about your feelings anymore. I don’t have to worry if I come to terms with it all there is a chance I will see you again and be really great friends because you chose not to be.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s