Thanks Snapchat.

One year ago it said. I love looking at my memories but sometimes they just remind me where I was simply a year ago. They remind me how happy I was.

Sometimes I wonder if his smile was real. If he was enjoying these moments as much as I was. I wonder if a simple night in gave me as much pleasure as it did him.

It amazes me watching these how we went from this and in two short months he would be gone. I wonder if it’s moment like those that kept me wanting more. If this is when I saw the best in him. If it was simple bonding that got me so attached to a human that would leave and never talk to me again.

He seemed so happy, but was he? Was he dying inside missing her? Did he know in this moment of smiling that he was going to leave the family that loved him so much.

Simple nights with him and my son were the ones I was so grateful for. The ones where it made my son feel like he had a complete family. Where he saw a man love his mom, made her smile, laugh and trust again. Only to learn her story and take it all way. We didn’t need him, we wanted him.

Only time will tell if he made the right choice but I know deep down that no one could possibly know him or love him as much as we did.

I hope everyone has a beautiful Wednesday.

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