The tears don’t stop.

Today is National twin day.

I wanted a baby so bad to complete my family. I wanted you to be a daddy. I needed you more then I could explain.

It’s national twin day.

I need you now. I can’t ask. I can’t suck up my pride enough to ask for you to want to be here for me.

It’s national twin day.

I’m trying to push you away because I’m so angry but I can’t tell you that. I just want to push you away and hurt myself because you are going to hurt me again.

It’s national twin day.

I need you. I never needed you but now when you can’t be here I need you. Why am I the one hurting so bad? Why can’t I get over it all and be a friend? Why do you consume my mind 90% of the day?

It’s national twin day.

Why does she make you happy and make me miserable? Why does she get to see you while I sit here and cry?

It’s national twin day damnit and we lost ours! I lost everything in this past year! I alone and I no longer no what to do.

I’m sorry I’m pushing you away, I don’t want to. I don’t want to lose you ever but I can’t love someone who loves someone else.

I want you to stay on your own and tell me I’m being dumb, that you don’t want to lose me.

It’s national twin day.

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