Ten Years.

Today I have a ten year old.

I will get out of bed and make this the best day for him. I will cry in the shower and any place he won’t see.

I got exactly what I ask for this morning. I don’t know if I will ever be happy. The person I was got sucked out of me. I have been destroyed over and over again due to my own self choices. It never stops hurting when people choose someone else. It never stops hurting because you never know why.

You silently walk away. You finish all the lose ends and you just silently drift away. Allow them to happy even when you can’t be. You let them have the life they have always wanted even if you sit heartbroken. You let them go because even if they won’t tell you they are happy or even if they refuse to talk about it they are happy and they have what they have wanted. I need to be that person and even if it hurts me to the core I need to silently back away.

Today I will make this the best day ever for My son even if I can’t give him the one thing he has always wanted. Even if I have failed more times now then I can count. I will make this the best day ever for him.

I hope everyone has a great day and a wonderful weekend.

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