I feel like sleep isn’t coming easy. I have so many thoughts running through my mind that I can’t seem to silence.
My last post there was a lot of emotion behind it. It came from a week of silence. A week of not reaching out to see if anyone would first because it always seemed to be me. A week of stress and not having anyone to talk to about my dog or them knowing something was wrong and never checking back in. After a week I finally said something while it may never get read, I don’t have hard feelings I just am finally realizing my worth and I know I am worth so much more then what I am doing to myself.
I want to be treated better by a few people and if it doesn’t come I’m finally standing my ground and telling myself it’s time to find people that want to treat me better. That want to listen and act when I say things. I have said time and time again that when someone disappears it’s make me feel not ok. It makes me feel horrible and I don’t want the pattern of it happening over and over again. I am there for so many day in and day out. I have ruined my sleeping schedule just Incase someone ever needs something even if it is just to talk about their stress or life. It isn’t hard to take a few minutes and ask how are you doing.
I am away from my family during this time. I test patients and help others during this scary time but that means I have to see my family through a window just so we know I’m not passing anything on that I may have come in contact with.
Their have been days I am really sad and alone. My phone is the way of communicating with others but some days there is just one person I want to talk to but I have to keep telling myself if they wanted to know how I am they would use theirs.
I am ready for all this to be over but I know we have to take caution and take our time so the death toll doesn’t keep going up.
I hope everyone is truly happy, healthy and okay- that means you too. 🤍